Well, imagine my surprise (along with the surprise of IMAX viewers all over) to discover the first teaser trailer for the penultimate(ish) film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!

I laughed for hours after seeing this. I’m still laughing. I just wasted 23 seconds of your life. You’re welcome.

So, if asked, what would you claim to be the single most entertaining viral video of all time? Is it Charlie the Unicorn? Is it Shoes? Is it that Japanese penguin that takes his penguin backpack and goes to buy fish from the market? No.

It’s that musical with Doogie Howser as a criminal not-so-mastermind.

Now, don’t let this tawdry description (nor it’s fairly literal title) fool you. Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is a surprising masterpiece. Then again, considering that it comes from the mind of Joss Whedon (*angelic music*), as well as his entire family, the notion isn’t quite so surprising.

Conceived by the Whedon crew during the boredom of this year’s Writers Guild of America strike, Joss sought to prove that something amazing could be created with minimal budget and no vulture-like production company looming overhead. He completely succeeded. Here’s how:

1. The Cast. Neil Patrick Harris is a god amongst mortals. Were it not for his amazing character Barney on How I Met Your Mother (which, by the way, may be the only worthy sitcom left on this planet), I would want him to get his fingers into as many projects as physically possible, plus three more. His voice, his timing, and his looks (score one for the men out there), are all well above par (or, rather, below par. Whichever is better. I don’t know golf). Then we come to Felicia Day as Penny. Her vulnerability makes you want to let her cry on your shoulder, until you realize that you are in fact crying on her shoulder. It is a far cry from her role on Buffy, which mainly just made me want to tear her little pink hat off (sorry, Vi fans). Nathan Fillion is of course amazing as Dr. Horrible’s arch nemesis, Captain Hammer, who is really the way I imagine most superheroes to be (f**king Superman and his rock allergies).

2. The Music. Those who remember the immortal Buffy episode “Once More With Feeling” will be happy to know that this score (penned jointly by Joss and his brother Jed Whedon), surpasses the quality of its predecessor by a large degree. The driving feel of each piece, particularly such hits as “Laundry Day”, “On The Rise”, and “So They Say” (mind you, we have no idea what the track titles are yet, so this is merely speculation), give the whole 42 minute story an insanely addictive energy.

3. The Joss. More than anything else, the Mutant Enemy stamp on this video is what makes it work. Cameos by David Fury and Marti Noxon (both Buffy writers, but otherwise known as the Mustard Man and the Parking Ticket Lady) are just some of the jewels that any fans of his original work would see. I believe that Dr. Horrible, more than anything else, makes me simply giddy over Joss’ TV return in Dollhouse.

I really haven’t done this story justice with this short review, but I don’t wish to spoil a thing. I will recommend nothing more highly for this summer. Try to catch it this week while it’s still free. After that, you can still buy it on iTunes or, if you’re like me, wait for the DVD, which will include a musical commentary by the cast and crew. Yep, that’s right. A separate musical, just for the commentary track. Salivation time commencing.

…Salivation time completing. I don’t want your computer sparking.

Or, rather, it was until The Dark Knight hit the screen.

It is a rare event when a film, particularly an adaptation, can be as powerful as this. Sure, The Dark Knight has been pathetically over-hyped in light of the death of Heath Ledger, but all of that is easy to forget once the theater goes black. I made a point of waving off all mention of Heath’s legacy left in the reel, or any other insensitive marketing scheme used by the producers and Hollywood as a whole, but I realized that there really was no need. It really does speak for itself.

Okay, time to move on from that. I’m simply sick of hearing about it, so I will cease the continuing obnoxiousity. Now I’ve said this movie’s a thing of beauty, and competes with its predecessor as the best superhero film of all time. And why is that?

1. Intelligence. Alright, some action fans may be a little confused by the legal jargon tossed about in Dark Knight’s first few scenes, but you can feel that it’s more than a contrived super-plot. Complex ranges of human emotion are addressed, delved into, torn apart, put back together, and generally scrutinized until you feel you understand humanity (particularly the mentally deranged in humanity) a little better when the lights come back on. Just as the Joker claims to be “a better class of criminal”, The Dark Knight is simply a better class of super-movie.

Christian Bale as Batman

2. Spectacle. Complex computer generated graphics. Large actions sequences. An 18 wheeler truck flipping up over itself. And lots of big bangs. No action fan will be disappointed, and that’s a promise.

3. Continuity. What? A villain from the first film is still reeking havoc? The love interest doesn’t disappear when jumping into the sequel? No. Nolan’s building a world here, albeit a world many already know and love. But that’s what makes it all so important. While whether or not Maggie Gyllenhaal meets or beats Katie Holmes’ original version of Bat-love Rachel Dawes is debatable, I for one applaud a little continuity, and it’s great to see a cameo of Cillian Murphy’s grand performance of the fear-inducing Scarecrow (my personal favorite Batman villain).

4. Performances. And here we go, the part you all wanted to hear about. Yes, Christian Bale remains a great death-metal voice of a Batman, and all those big-wigs (Morgan Freeman, Michael Cane and especially Gary Oldman as Lieutenant-turned-Commissioner Gordon) are as perfect as they’ve ever been. But the real gem of this film is… Aaron Eckhart as DA Harvey Dent.

Aaron Eckhart takes a dark turn

Expecting someone else?

Yes, Heath Ledger’s amazing, and I’ll get to that in a minute. But for me, it’s Aaron Eckhart’s golden boy, who seems a hair’s breadth from blowing the tether at any moment, who shines the brightest. His climactic final scenes (for those of you who know the mythology, yes he shows up and yes he’s perfect for it) are truly chilling, and you can’t help but stare. Want to know what I mean? You’ll have to see, I’m no spoiler.

Now, on to the actor cut down in his prime. Mark my words: Heath Ledger is not the definitive Joker. Mark Hammill, former Skywalker turned Clown Prince of Crime in Batman: The Animated Series, is the definitive Joker. Nevertheless, Heath discovered something about this legendary character that I hadn’t realized was integral to the character’s success; Ledger’s Joker is actually funny.

Ledger’s now infamous Joker

This Joker is chilling, sadistic, and hideous, of course, but the truly magical element of this interpretation is in the power not only of hi own laughter, but of the audience’s. You’ll find yourself bursting out laughing, that is until you realize that a man was just brutally murdered right in front of your eyes. That’s what the Joker really is. He’s not a stupid man with a stupid grin who paints faces on paintings (I’m looking at you, Jack Nicholson. Your Joker SUCKS!).

Comparative Joker Study: Nicholson, Hammil, and Cesar Romero (moustache included)

Heath’s Joker is a man devoid of any real humanity; he has no history, no guilt, no reality. Only a horrific sense of humor and a loose cannon approach to life. It’s not the perfect Joker, but by the end of his first scene, you simply won’t care.

In conclusion: See this movie if you know what’s good for you. Just remember that it’s a movie, not an epitaph. But still, even if he didn’t mean it to be, it’s one hell of a way to go.

I left the theatre with an urge to vomit. Oh dear god.

Let’s begin with an exceedingly important disclaimer: I have seen and am in love with the original stage production of Mamma Mia. ABBA’s music is (of course) perfect, and the whole show is a fun ball of camp that is meant to be enjoyed and nothing more. In other words, enjoying the stage show does not equal enjoying the film.

Here’s the concept in brief. Imagine if an eccentric and over-the-top high school director took an aging community theater troupe, flew them all to Greece, gave them ecstasy, and simply filmed what happened next. That would be Mamma Mia in a nut shell. Now, how could such an amazing source material, with an even more amazing cast, ruin a film so completely? Let’s go step by step.

The amazing spectacle that is the Broadway show Mamma Mia!

In my opinion, the set did more to ruin this film than any one person’s actions. Mind you, Greek island=beautiful, and it is the actual setting of the story, but it killed the entire mood and power of the narrative. For those who haven’t seen the show, half the wonder of the presentation is in the highly stylized sets and beautiful light displays, all of which enhance while simultaneously downplaying the over-the-top story and performances happening around it. Making the set real forces the complete idiocy of what’s actually going on into an embarrassing limelight.

Now, let’s talk about some of that idiocy. Remember when I said that the show is meant to be a singing and dancing extravaganza? There is no dancing. Wait, pause, let me rephrase. The movie was choreographed by a manic 11-year old who has just learned where a baby comes from. Much of the movement is inappropriately raunchy to an absurd degree, and that’s when it doesn’t look badly improvised from start to finish. The vocals, meanwhile, are alright… with the striking exception of Pierce Brosnan’s Sam, who looks and sounds as though he is trying to dislodge a demonic bagpipe from his throat. You think I’m exaggerating? Buy the soundtrack.

Meryl Streep, on severely dangerous chemicals

No! WAIT! Don’t buy the soundtrack! Please! Let’s let ABBA have some dignity, please!

Having said all of this, there are some shining moments. Meryl Streep, while possibly committing the worst performance of her career, still manages to make it through the film relatively unscathed, as does the charming Amanda Seyfried as her daughter Sophie, though both of them approach career suicide with horrific Madonna impressions, rolling around the floor in a sexual manner. In truth, there is one number that is simply perfect, and made me believe (albeit for a brief moment) that the movie’s quality would turn around. Streep and Seyfried’s rendition of “Slipping Through My Fingers” is truly heartbreaking and beautiful, and do you know why? Because it is devoid of everything that ruins the rest of the film: the dancing, the over-the-top performances, the awkward backing chorus of Greek nobodies, and really every other actor on the screen. Frankly, I am glad to have seen this film, if only for this one scene.

“Sliping Through My Fingers”, the film’s one perfect scene

Okay, now I have to inform you all of a discovery I made while leaving the theater. Based on my mother’s vehement denial of the film’s failure (and her own generally good taste when it comes to film), I have come to believe that the movie version of Mamma Mia simply may not be meant for anyone currently under the age of 40. As she pointed out to me, the combination of nostalgic recollection of the film’s soundtrack and a mental perspective of the plight of the middle-aged characters makes the absurdity of the presentation much more acceptable. Naturally, being under the age of 40, I do not understand her position. Also, being a lover of ABBA’s music myself, I’m not sure I can follow this line of thinking, but I present it for your consideration nonetheless.

Recap Time:

Good things about the film: Amanda Seyfried, Meryl Streep (minus some extreme issues now and then), “Slipping Through My Fingers”, laughing at Pierece Brosnan’s horrific bagpipe demon voice

Bad things about the film: Everything else. Absolutely everything else.

In conclusion: See the show, buy the show’s soundtrack, and let it go there. Unless you’re over 40, then you can give it a shot. Maybe.

Not to mention that Sarah Brightman from Phantom of the Opera is still alive. That would frighten anyone.

Anyway, being the devout Buffy the Vampire Slayer follower that I am, as well as keeping mild interest with the Saw series as well as other rock operas that have been made into film, I am of course contractually obligated to attend. I’d caution the rest of you, though. I’m not too sure it’ll be safe to enter that movie theatre. I think watching this movie will kill your soul (but no worse than Dead Alive did mine).

Joss Whedon, otherwise known as my personal lord and savior.

Eliza Dushku, otherwise known as the complicated loose cannon Faith Lehane on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.

A new show, with the promise of restoring the former TV glory of three of the best shows on TV running simultaneously: Buffy, Angel, and Firefly.

Let’s just say that this show has some big shoes to fill, and I intend to love every minute of it. Just take a look: